What about my Cake?
by jrose452
Summary: A short little fic about Bella's cake making talents and the difference in mythological digestive systems. ExB with a bit of Seth for cuteness!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own Twilight, characters, places, cakes or anything else that could be so yummy from The Meyer universe.**

**Author's note – A little plot bunny that bit me and found it's way through the burning change into the world of sticky wolves and crunchy vampires. I love the stories but sometimes I just wish Bella had a bit more grit to her character. Marsh-mellow Bella aside I hope you enjoy, please review if you're in the mood for it. I'm an easy going writer, so it's all fine with me.**

The Trouble with making Jacob Black a Birthday Cake

Chapter One

As Bella predicted, on this sunny afternoon in Forks, the Cullen Clan all returned home together from the hunt to an empty house. Everything was just as they left it, the remote was in its spot, the phone was in its holster, every single sock of Jasper's was lined up in the basement laundry room to military position. Not a speck of dust was out of place and aside from the small lingering scent of Bella, nothing was out of the ordinary for a house full of vampires like normal, except when Bella was concerned.

All was perfect in the perfect white house aside from one box.

One large golden box, to match Edward's large golden eyes.

All the Cullen eyes looked the same today, different hue's, different sizes but one thing remained the same. The vegetarian well fed look that gave the family strength to fight the blood-lust for another day.

"Alice can you still not see Bella?" Edward wondered and tried to ignore the patient expression on little Alice's face as well as the groaning sigh from Rosalie's impatience.

"Edward you spoke to her yourself. She's near those wolves where we can't follow for the entire day. She'll be back home with Charlie at 7 o'clock and not a moment before. Do I have to show you her opening the door as Charlie watches the news again?"

"Alice what have you being buying this time?"

"That's nothing to do with me, I didn't even see it, it must be from the wolves. Because I'm not picking anything up." Alice let out a little annoyed huffing noise and near-enough stamped her little perfect foot.

"It's got Edward's name on it." Jasper wondered carefully inspecting the box with a diligent eye. It could be a threat of some sort, he needed to be sure of his mate, particularly with stinky mongrel wolves running loose around the place causing his life to be a little bit more interesting than he would like.

"I don't think you need to worry too much Jasper, that's Bella's hand writing." Esme offered, aware her militant son was always so particular when it came to mysterious packages, after-all it hadn't being the first time something unpleasant had being left behind for them.

"Bella's not being here though." Edward wondered.

"No Bella's not being here in the last 24 hours or so Edward, and we've being gone all weekend." Rosalie pointed out with another board sigh.

Moving over, the Cullen's all hung around the kitchen and watched as Edward pulled the delicate little card with smoothed round edges from the ribbon holding it. Looking at the card box, it was a warm, golden colour with a shiny silver ribbon tied neatly around it. Not so neat as Alice could managed but clearing some human or other had gone to extraordinary lengths to make sure the box looked it's best.

Opening the little envelope which quiet rightly had, 'Edward' written in Bella's neat little letters on the front, Edward's eyes went from confusion to a smile. The moment he put it down, predictably, Alice snatched it up for a look.

"What's it say?" Emmett wondered rapping his long arms around Rosalie's hourglass middle and kissing her softly on the cheek. Rosalie made a face but still snuggled back into Emmett broad chest. Obviously the box wasn't some boobie-traped wolf surprise since Bella would no doubt of accidently triggered it's dedonater, some how, upon delivery.

"_To Edward, _

_Just because I love you the most. _

_Happy hunting. _

_With love, _

_from your Bella."_

"Aww that's so sweet." Esme beamed looking over at her husband with a smile. Carlisle merely gave her one of those looks that showed just how old he was getting by comparison but then smiled again at her sweet happiness. Jasper however read out the last little sentence.

"_P.S. Don't share it with Emmett."_

"Why's he get a mention?" Rosalie grumbled stepping out of her mate's arms at last.

"Are you jealous you didn't Rosalie?"

"No, but what has Emmett got to do with her sicken displays of romance."

"What, apposed to your crude noisy displays sister?" Jasper grumbled rolling his eyes.

"Don't share it with me, why not? What's she gone and got you? And by the way there is nothing crude about my Rosalie! She is perfection itself." Emmett insisted lifting his eyebrows to his mate for one moment. For a moment she softened her expression and smirked at him before going back to her sullen board expression. Esme however clearly thought they were going to open it up and find some sweet little romantic gesture between the two.

"I wonder what she got you? I'm sure it'll be lovely whatever it is." Edward too wondered this, Bella was in no mood to be giving him sweet little gifts when he left her at Charlie's cruiser, they were barely even on romantic terms given how quietly angry Bella was. She'd being angry all week but seemed to soften the last day he saw her.

He didn't think she'd softened this much though and was still wondering what sweet little romantic gift he could get Bella to soften her mood only to find she'd beaten him to it. She always was such a surprise for him but today that was a little worrying. Carlisle really doubted Bella had suddenly seen things Edward's way and was trying to apologies to Edward for the argument, it just didn't fit in with female logic, Edward heard in his mind that he was obviously expecting some sort of penance to be required on Edward's side before she let it drop.

Snapping the ribbon Edward laid it aside and lifted the lid, it was a large box covering one end of the kitchen counter. Prime position right in the middle of the room for all to see.

Inside the golden box was another box this one was pink, a sweet rosy pink that reminded Edward of the colour of Bella's cheeks when she blushed. Smiling to himself and still a little confused, Edward removed this lid to find a curved plastic lid. This was silver to match the ribbon and made it impossible for anyone to see it's contents but also made from a solid plastic and not card.

"Ooo she got you boxs Edward." Rosalie sighed a little too sarcastically for Esme to tolerate, she shot her eldest daughter an annoyed look to keep her quiet. This was a romantic moment, one quiet new and exciting for Edward, Bella had never done anything so unexpected as this before. Esme wanted to make sure he enjoyed it as much as she'd enjoyed Carlisle's little surprise moment's over the years.

Ignoring his sister Edward reached in again and unfastened the clips, the base of the box seemed to be flat where as the lid seemed to extend up the sides rather like an upside box. Lifting it up however they were all suddenly hit by the sweet disgusting smell of sugar and icing and the hint of Bella's scent that seemed to permeate everything she touched.

"I don't get it." Carlisle suddenly came out with. Inside this last box was a rather large delicately iced cake. With hard white icing smoothed up and across the sides, the edging had carefully piped little blobs and on the top was a flat expanse of white and gold. Although not getting the words perfectly formed it was clearly her own work. In soft, gold, slightly gooey lines, were written the words.

_**Edward & Bella**_

_**Forever**_

Surrounding this was a big pink heart shaped line complete with little smaller hearts around the bottom.

"I don't get it either, what could you possibly want to do with that thing?" Rosalie grumbled taking one quick look and sitting back into Emmett's broad arms once again. He quickly pulled her closer and snuggled her tight, always glad to have her back in his arms.

"I can think of plenty of fun to have with that thing. Why would she be so determined to stop me?"

"We know **YOU** could find plenty of enjoyment from a cake, but Edward?" Carlisle frowned, despite the sweet writing it seemed a bit of temporary gift. Suddenly Esme clasped one hand over her face.

"Oh my, it's humble pie."

"Pie, looks more like a cake to me?" Emmett wondered sure he hadn't got his human foods confused again. Jasper however was suddenly smirking and then he drawled out with a twinkle in his eye to match his mates.

"Oh she's good. I really like her now! I'm really glad I didn't kill her!" Edward's head however suddenly snapped to Esme.

"What do you mean I've got to eat it?"

"Eat it, but that's just disgusting!" Rosalie wondered with a deep set scowl.

"That's kind of the point Rosalie." Jasper pointed out and then leaned in closer to the cake again to take a sniff, he quickly wrinkled his nose at how revolting it would taste and smirked at his brother.

"Huh, effective." Alice started to join in now bouncing closer to Edward and measuring the size of the cake with her hands.

"Oh and look how big it is Edward, I bet that's even bigger than the cake she made the mutt!"

"Is that was this is about?"

"Your surprised? She did so lovingly make you a cake Edward." Alice grinned.

"But to eat it?"

"Humble pie Edward."

"But it's a cake, not a pie. And that's not what that means?"

"Oh I'm really starting to like this girl!" Emmett quickly knocked fists with his middle brother and grinned, it was a comment he routinely made once a fortnight to conveniently time with one of Bella's many clumsy accidents.

"Well I hope you'll have the decency to take that outside. Carlisle dear, will you come help me, Jasper don't forget your laundry." With that Esme gracefully slipped up the stairs closely followed by her mate who deliberately bumped into her when they reached his office. Esme let out a hiss of delight and suddenly the door slammed shut tight behind them.

"Oh this is gonna be fun."

"Esme's right though we should probably take this outside. It's bound to get awful messy."

"What? You think I'm going to eat it?"

"The mutt ate his!"

"The mutt eats everything! He even chews on her shoes."

"The mutt wasn't rude and obnoxious about the fact that she made him a cake and not you one. She seems to think you really wanted one for yourself, you gave that impression to me, how about you Jasper?"

"You did seem extraordinarily jealous of his Bella cake to me, yes."

"But she knows, I mean we don't eat. Why would I want her to make me a romantic cake?"

"Edward that's kind of the point you dumbass!"

"What so if I don't eat it she'll be hurt and the dam mutt will gain points for eating her cooking but if I do eat it she knows full well it'll taste like dirt and just make me heave it all up an hour later."

"Edward don't be such a pansy and eat the sodding cake!" Carlisle called out from upstairs.

"You want me to throw up?"

"You better be outside when you do!" Esme chimed in.

"Hell yeah, I wanna see you puke."

"You wouldn't want to hurt precious Bella's little feelings now would you?" Jasper insisted loading out an under current of enthusiasm as he did.

"I'll go get you a cake knife Edward." Emmett offered. Alice then picked up the cake and headed out to the patio where she set up a chair and delicate placemat for Edward. Emmett arrived with a knife and fork while Jasper frog marched Edward to sit down at his dinner table.

"But she..?"

"We all have to do crazy things once in a while to eat humble pie."

"Some of us more often than others, hay Emmett."

"Oi, that's not fair!"

"You wouldn't have to do it so often if you could control your impulses better."

"Hay I'll show you impulse behavior." With that Emmett picked up the fork yanked out a chunk of cake and started flying it towards Edward's mouth.

"Your gonna have to eat it Edward."

"Here comes the airplane. Zoom, Zoom, Zoom!" Edward swatted the fork away and tried reading all the thoughts around him, Emmett was trying to wind him up by making him think he's a chicken and the others were all thinking what might of driven Bella to such extreme behavior, she's never done anything like this before.

Alice tried to check her visions of Bella but she was still invisible, absent until she and Charlie were driving back home in his cruiser arriving home in time for the 7pm news.

Edward stared at the cake for several moments, it was his arch nemesis, a creature of agony sent to test him of his love. Something far worse than blood-lust or violent, vengeful, vampires.

His arch nemesis was a cake, a large sugar coated cake with ridiculous mocking pink hearts all over it.

Just as Emmett was giving in to Edward's no doubt stubborn-ness to find a way around the situation, the most miraculous thing happened. Edward picked up the cake knife sliced off a particularly large piece and then stuffed the entire thing into his mouth.

There was a muffled gagging noise followed by a particularly scrunched up disgusted face, but after a moment or two Edward chewed had swallowed the first chunk.

"Dude, that's fucking disgusting!" Emmett bellowed out scrunching his own face up at something so revolting, that was until Jasper shot out.

"Fifty says he can't eat the whole thing!" Emmett was already nodding in agreement as the two sat down on either side ready to hedge their bets and witness Edward's triumph or failure.

"Your on." Alice bounced around the table watching and checking Edward's near future. And although making every expression she was totally board, flicking through a magazine Rosalie didn't move from her spot watching Edward.

Alice watched on curiously while Jasper and Emmett systematically tried to either put him off or egg him on to win there respective bets. About half way through Edward started to flag, his stomach was not liking the sudden switch from tasty mountain lion to dirt-like human cake. The pieces were getting smaller and he was taking longer to swallow. Somewhere around the 64% mark he stopped chewing and had to clamp a fist over his mouth for several moments. Emmett and Jasper were sat on tender hooks waiting to see what would happen next, even Rosalie had put her magazine to watch, lifting her feet up from the floor. She was certainly expecting something messy soon!

**Thanks for reading so far, feel free to review if you want to. All comments are welcome here.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authour's note – These are probably going be rather short chapters, the general idea is to do something slightly bigger than a one shot but we all know those are the stories that seem to end up 40 chapters long followed by two sequels and no ending in sight!**

Chapter two

Bella meanwhile having left her father at the Clearwater house was walking down the road towards the Uley/Young house with young Seth Clearwater. Unlike his sister, who hated everyone and everything, Seth liked pretty much everything and everyone and could easily tolerate being in Sam's house with Emily, in spite of his sister's misery.

Harry although uncomfortable around Sam, seemed to routinely talk to him at either Billy or Old Quill's house something he was known for hiding from his daughter at times. (Every father it seems was just a little bit scared of their teenaged daughter.)

Harry understood what was going on with Sam these days, despite feeling bad for his daughter, Sue was eager to find some way to be closer to her niece, Emily, once again.

"So no random trips to the cake store recently Bella?" Seth wondered in his usual smiley manner. Bella shook her head in sarcastic apology.

"No, no more random trips."

"And no random failed cakes you need me to eat?"

"No, you know I'm surprised you managed to finish that thing. Your getting big you aren't you?" Bella stopped to have a look at Seth more clearly, he was definitely bigger than he was a week ago. At least Bella thought he was bigger, it might just be her seeing things because she's starting to expect him to be bigger because she see's the wolfish-ness starting to kick in.

"Growing like me cousin."

"Hmm Jacob does eat a lot. He swears down to me that the council meetings always end with him swallowing a cow whole as some sort party piece."

"I wouldn't know, I'm not allowed to go to _those_ meetings."

"Hmm. Well Embry says it is a very spectacular sight but I don't buy it either. However big his hands are, a person's stomach is only as big as their fist." Taking Bella's hand suddenly to have a look Seth quickly insisted.

"Your's must be tiny then." Bella took her hand back and was having the strangest day-ja-vue moment from when Jacob would absently take her hand, he would smile at her innocently like Seth was doing now. Shaking off that train of thought about Seth Bella looked away to the tree's they were walking along side.

"Yes. Must be." She didn't know if Seth was aware he was making her a little uncomfortable or not but he seemed to walk a little further away from her now. Strangely enough all it did was make her feel bad. Bella even started to worry that maybe she was making _him_ feel a little uncomfortable.

"What's the matter with your truck?"

"It needs more oil and I haven't had a chance to get to the store yet."

"Hmm, well Jacob's always tinkering under my mum's car, I used to help him when he was fixing up that truck you have now. It was ace hanging around in that garage but he won't ever let me over any more. There's nothing much to do, dad won't let me hang around by the rock pools any more. I can't see why, I've fallen in and managed to swim out loads of times, the sea can't suddenly of got more dangerous can it?"

"Is your mum still worried about you out and about on your own?"

"Yeah, everyone else is either loads younger or hanging around with Sam and his gang, club members only or something." Bella couldn't help feeling more than a little bad for Seth now. He was feeling the same as Quill had at one point. All his friends had individually up and left him to join the pack and he had no idea why.

"Did you ask your dad about that?" Bella knew there was not much point asking, it's not like Harry would have told him the truth. If Billy hadn't told Jacob before-hand, Seth certainly wasn't going to get any fore-warning. What he next said though made her wonder.

"Yeah, he said it was a coming of age thing, something the boys of the tribe often go through in some form or other. But that I'm just not old enough for it this time. I hate always being the youngest." She wondered if Harry had even noticed Seth's slowly growing fever.

"Hmm, that's pretty much what I got told too. It's worse for me, I'm a girl, and it's definitely no girl's aloud." Bella teased and was pleased to see Seth smiling back at her once more. Clearly the arrival of a wolves in the tribe again was having an effect on those not even part of the pack yet. Seth continued in silence until Bella started to notice him walking a little closer to her once more.

"I don't see you around very much these days you know. Don't you like coming down here with Charlie any more? You used to come over a lot for a while."

"Hmm, well dad just likes hanging around with his mates. Kind of like you do. They just want to be boys together. Well men I suppose."

"Hmm, suppose. Leah might like your company?" Bella wondered if it was Seth that would really like her company. She couldn't imagine why, Bella didn't care what Edward said, she wasn't a pretty girl but then perhaps Seth would take any company over sitting at home all day with his mother.

"Yeah, I know she's not being too happy lately has she?"

"You didn't used to be too happy either. I remember. What made you feel better?" Bella couldn't help her answer at this, as much as Edward hated it and as much as she found it very uncomfortable she knew exactly what had helped her feel better.

"Hanging around with Jake."

"Leah's never much liked Jake. She says he's annoying, and that he smells like sweaty boys feet."

"Leah will come out the other side of what ever it is she's dealing with eventually."

"That's what everyone else says, but I don't think she will."

"Well I needed a kick to get started as well, but I managed it eventually."

"I always get in bother for kicking her though?"

"Not that kind of kick dafty."

"I know, I'm only messing. Like I would kick Leah, she's crazy, she'd hit me back twice as hard. Jake's got it so much easier with his sisters." Seth insisted as they walked up towards the front door of the one house Bella had deliberately aimed for. If Seth had being aware of Bella's direction he hadn't said anything. But before Bella had a chance to knock it swung open wildly.

"Have to get Sam to fix those hinges.' Emily muttered to herself and then stepped through.

'Hello you pair. Oh I've missed you both." Emily called out striding from the house quickly. Putting down her pile of laundry to hold the door open she walked out to meet them, first to hug Bella and then Seth.

"Hay Emily."

"My you've grown Seth."

"I have haven't I? Not the midget everyone used to say I was."

"Oh you'll always be the baby of the family Seth. Your too adorable not to be.' Emily insisted as she looked up into Seth's young face. Giving him a warm hug Bella couldn't help but smile at Seth's slightly annoyed face. He didn't say anything, but looked at Emily like she was some annoying cheek pinching old aunt making Bella snigger to her-self. Bella rather thought Emily liked this expression on him as she merely smiled wider on one side of her face.

'You're just at the right time, I was about to take the cookie's out the oven."

"Em you always seem to be cooking something?" Seth wondered as he was lead by the sleeve into the little house. Bella followed with a little chuckle. Emily always was cooking something.

"Yes, well it's a bit of a full time occupation these days. But I could do with a taste tester if your up for it." Soon enough Seth was wondering around outside looking at the wild rabbits and eating warm sweet cookies quiet content while Emily and Bella enjoyed a quick girly cup of tea.

"You don't have to rush off the moment they get back you know."

"No I do. I make things awkward enough around here."

"It's not your fault that crazy bitch is out to kill you. You didn't set her off on purpose."

"She wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. Sam and Jacob and all the others wouldn't be out in the woods chasing her if it wasn't for me. And Seth, he...well you hugged him..?"

"Yeah I know. I'll tell Sam."

"That's why I brought him over, well it wasn't difficult to lure him out for a walk, he's lonely and he thinks something a bit strange is going off, it's not surprising really, Harry told him it was a boys right of passage thing and he just wasn't old enough to join in yet."

"Oh he hates that, he's always hated being that bit younger than Jacob. And he's always followed around after him, in Seth's eyes Jacob is just wonderful and he wants to do everything Jake does too."

"Hmm, well he's warm. It attracts people in.' Bella sighed then as Emily supped her tea and watched Bella's expression closely.

'Seth's just like a younger version of Jacob. Well, the way he used to be when I knew him before. I miss that, it's very refreshing being around him, Seth that is, I only know one other person like him and yet older...I don't know. It's difficult having no one to talk to sometimes that's just plain old fashioned nice."

"You can talk to me?"

"Hmm yeah, wolf mamma. You may be easy to talk to but it's pretty obvious where your mind lies."

"Well yes. But I do understand, it's difficult not having any other women my own age to talk about my Sam too. None of my friends could ever really understand this life and those that have enough insight well, no-one female, no one under 70 either."

"Well no, no other friends. Hell most of them would probably just try and put you in the nut house if you even tried to explain on a simple level what's going on. Mine certainly would. Well accept Alice but that's a whole other kettle of fish. But I do know that feeling you have."

"I'm curious though, how did the cake plan go?"

"I don't know yet. Thanks for the help, I got it all set up just perfectly. But they should of being back this morning. I haven't being around, to be honest I've being sort of hiding down here today just in case."

"Well I suppose it is the one place he wouldn't look for you."

"He assumes I'm at Jacob's or on the beach. He doesn't like to ask because he doesn't like the answer. He just knows I'm in the general area around here."

"I get Jacob but why on the beach?"

"Open fire pit BBQ's. I just never bothered to correct him."

"Your hiding my existence from them, you don't trust him?"

"No, nothing like that. And it's not because I'm afraid of Sam either."

"Go on then."

"Well he was being such a jerk one time about me around other guys, well other guys he mostly ignores or scares off. But the pack… well, Jacob if we're honest. That's very different, it's difficult for him. They aren't like regular school boys to Edward. I mean let's face it one glare from Edward like that is more likely to make Paul laugh than anything else."

"Well Paul is a rather unique creature." Emily explained as they both merely laughed.

"A unique creature?"

"Is it because of the whole mortal enemy's thing?"

"A little, I asked Alice to explain it. Edward assumes Jacob and Sam are just like Levi and Ephraim. According to Carlisle there's a considerable family resemblance for those two. Not so much with the others. Edward see's Sam and assumes he's the same. It un-nerves him a little to have me away from him, particularly somewhere where he doesn't think he can protect me properly. Edward's terrified something bad is going to happen to me and it'll be his fault for not trying hard enough to keep me safe. And if something bad happened to me hear he couldn't even get past the wall of furry arsed wolves to save me." Bella sighed it was tantamount to how frustrated she was that the term 'arsed' had slipped out without her knowing.

"Did he tell you what they were like? I mean we've got histories, stories about them, but the personal touch, that gets a bit lost."

"Well Alice never met them, she joined the family afterwards and Edward's limited in what he tells me. But it sounds like Levi was a bit like Paul, loud and boisterous, temperamental, quick to anger and probably mostly naked most of the time. But Edward said Ephraim just had to give him a look, and Levi was silent, back in line. Edward also implied Ephraim had a side to him that was much more like Jacob."

"How so?"

"Well he could be playful, he made jokes at times. He can't of being that much older than Sam when Carlisle met him. Even then Carlisle's so much older he comes at things from an entirely different world."

"From our history's Carlisle must be over 200 by now."

"And the rest."

"What, how old is he?"

"400 would be a nearer rough estimate for his age."

"He's about 400 years old?" Emily asked the shock and disbelief spreading quickly across her face.

"I don't think he knows the exact year he was born, they didn't keep records like that or something back then, but that's what he told me. He came to America hoping to find others like him. Other vegetarian's, I got the impression his dedication to his diet made him lonely since everyone else around him just wanted to eat folk not be nice to them, try and help them."

"Wow, that's something…that's huh."

"Vampire's have a different approach to age too, physically he's what 23 I think but on the inside he's much older. Pretty too isn't he? Particularly so with all that bright blond hair."

"Well you never heard me say it but yes, I have seen the famous vampire doctor at the hospital before and he is quiet stunning to look at."

"Your secret's safe with me. I think he's attractive, I can't imagine any women that wouldn't, but he's always being Edward's father to me, so I don't really give it much thought. I've never looked at him in 'that' way."

"I suppose they must be very different like that. You know it sounds like Ephraim Black had a real presence, that the others really respected him. At least that's how Billy tells the stories."

"Oh yes, aside from the grumbling about who threatened to tear who's leg off first, that was quiet clear, he was one of those men that everyone respected and looked up to. Must of being hard for him, to have everyone look to him all the time for guidance.'

Bella paused then wondering about her dearest vampire and the way he formed his features when they spoke about the previous pack. The respect was there, however unwilling, but now her mind was shifting to thoughts on Sam. Emily's understanding and worried expression spoke volumes, it was hard on Sam too, to have so much responsibility pressed on to him simply because of a genetic fluke at being born first. After all Sam was barely any older than the other wolf boys.

'Carlisle respected him, he seems to think quiet highly of the last alpha and Carlisle respects people that are willing to sit back and be level headed about things, people that are willing to listen and be open minded. He's very non-judgmental like that, bit like Seth really only, you know, but old! But Edward.'

Bella sighed again clearly more than a little fed up with the situation she often found herself in with the love of her life. He did have his faults she wasn't that insane, Edward may mean more to her than her own existence but he still had flaws, flaws that occasionally really annoyed her.

'Me being here makes him uncomfortable. Being around Jacob makes him uncomfortable and he sure has a way of making his uncomfortable feelings known."

"Because Jacob's someone capable of taking him on and winning and he's used to interacting with human's instead?"

"Yes I suppose so. I swear Mike nearly wet himself last month trying to talk to me in gym."

"What did Edward do?"

"He smiled at Mike, he said how much he was looking forward to hiking this season, and that he and Emmett would be in the store soon to buy the usual seasonal gear."

"Huh?"

"Emmett's the big brother with dark hair and Mike's parents run the Newton's Outdoor store plus Edward is perfectly capable of creating his own little '_presence'_ as well when he wants' to."

"Oh yes, I remember. And the blond brother?"

"That's Jasper. He's actually older, just smaller, than Emmett so he's kind of the middle bother."

"Well I suppose they would create such a perfect alibi for where they go off to every sunny day they must shop from time to time."

"Hmm. Anyway I don't much like Mike, I find him annoying, his endless attempts at well, I don't know what he's thinking but it sure makes Edward scowl. He's not bad or anything, he's just kind of slimy, you know the sort, makes your skin crawl when they try and chat you up at every inappropriate moment."

"Yeah I do know that feeling. There's a guy I know that well, Sam sure is intimidating some times. It's not quiet reduced to the bloke wetting himself but I'm sure if I gave Sam half a chance to try he could probably pull it off. He just goes crazy whenever the guy looks at me. It's a bit annoying really, last week we were in the shop and suddenly I'm getting dragged out the building in the sweetest possible way and Paul's being sent in with the list to finish it off."

"Aww, he rolls over like a lap dog for you every time."

"Yes, he really does.' Emily sighed and put down her empty cup.

'You know how I feel about your choice and we've talked enough about Jacob so you know I don't need to say anything else on that either. I'm glad you brought Seth over though, I kind of miss him, I miss you too and Sam will be glad to know about that and Jacob will be glad to hear your ok' Bella just made a face.

'He will! He hangs on every word from his father whenever Charlie's being over talking about you."

"You're worried too aren't you. He's very young still, Jacob's young, I worry about him out there all the time, but Seth's really young?"

"Yes. I won't let Sam take him out too far. He always wants someone close by here to keep an eye on us, well on me. Seth could do that job, it would be safer that way. I'm sure no one expects him out with the rest of the pack hunting…"

"But Sam can't just single one of the others out since the others are all too similar and useful?"

"But they are all still so young. I'll be making sure to keep an eye on Seth. It's dangerous out there, I don't care what Sam says."

"I know. You do fuss over them all like a proper Momma Wolf you know?"

"Yes, I know, well they are my pack too.' Emily couldn't help but let a wistful expression drift across her face as she looked over towards the window, holding her resolve not to loose Bella as a friend until the last possible moment, she turned back to the 'vampire girl' and smiled.

'Now you promise you'll come over again as soon as you're able?"

"Kind of still under house arrest Emily."

"I know, but you will promise? I would come and visit you but well..."

"I know, I do understand, it kind of comes with the boyfriend package. I'm surprised I got here at all to be honest. He's normally so well...never mind. I mean between him and my dad… ah well. Men." Bella groaned and saw and understanding nod come from the scared and loving women she sat with.

"I know… never mind." Getting up they heard the familiar call from two hoots. The pack were soon returning and as always they were returning hungry. Grabbing her coat Bella moved as quickly and gracefully as she could towards the door and called out since the smallest dark haired boy was hidden somewhere. Emily followed close behind her, setting the side table straight and laying the rug back flat she rolled her eyes at her strange clumsy friend.

"Seth!" He popped up around the side of the house still chewing.

"Hmm."

"Why don't you stay?" Emily wondered seeing the usual movements through the closest tree's. Bella looked to the tree's as well and quickly shook her head making Emily's face fall to disappointment. She wanted Bella as part of her family just as much as Esme did.

"No, I'd really rather not. Beside's, Charlie will be wondering where I've gone off to. He worries too, you know, weird mutated wolf/bear like creatures running around the place. Dad swears down I'm some sort of danger magnet and if anyone can lure them into a populated area and get half eaten by one it would obviously end up being me. I really don't know where I get this 'danger magnet' reputation from!" At this Emily merely laughed knowingly and smiled at her odd friend.

"Alright if you must. Seth give me some love." Emily moved over towards her little cousin and hugged him tightly, he was definitely too warm for a regular human now.

"See you Em. Those cookies were really nice."

"Go on, you may as well finish them off."

"Sweet." Seth rushed in to grab the last three biscuits while Emily gave Bella a quick hug. Seeing movement on the edge of the clearing start to turn into bare skinned bodies moving out the tree line Bella turned and wondered back down the dirt road.

Seth bounded along beside her chewing thoughtfully while Emily went back into clear the cups away. Bella could see it was Jacob, he wasn't hard to miss when she was so practiced at memorising his walk, his face, everything about him. Never mind the fact that all five bare chests, short haired boys were present so Jacob by default must have being one of them.

Jacob too could see it was Bella, better with his improved eyesight and couldn't help but feel the pang of jealously that it was Seth bouncing along making her smile and not him anymore.

His life really sucked and one look from his brothers told him they knew already, they knew it, so he didn't have to bring it up, yet again.

"Hmm, it was nice seeing Emily again." Seth decided once they'd turned the corner.

"How many of them things have you eaten Seth?"

"Urm, well they're nice. Still warm."

"Hmm, your right, it was nice to see her."

"Didn't you want to stop and talk to the others?" Seth wondered looking back to see Jared and Paul out on the porch already tucking into bread rolls as they stared Seth down from 400 yards away. Seth turned back to Bella who was refusing to look, she knew she was being watched, she just couldn't bring herself to meet Jacob's gaze today.

"No I didn't. Did you?" Although clearly Seth would love to hang around with the other boys and do whatever it was they were up to, he merely sighed knowing it was never going to happen.

"Sam would just send me off home again. One time he had my dad pick me up and well..."

"You were embarrassed?"

"Dad was grumpy about me being out after dark enough as it was. He just wouldn't talk to me that night. Sent me to my room, told me he didn't want to see me until morning and went over to Billy's again. It's not fair, I don't know what's the matter with him. Hanging out at people's houses after dark was never a problem before. I mean it's not as if we get an over abundance of daylight here. Heck if it's dark at five o'clock and I'm still over at Jake's house at nine, half the time he just told me to kip over and be back in time for school the next morning.' Bella nodded along to this aware Seth needed a chance to rant. She hated keeping things from him but didn't want to make things worse either.

'Jake used to walk over with me and get some extra breakfast."

"I won't give you some patronising talk that things will get better and you'll work out all the answers some day and that your dad and Sam are only trying to do what's best for you."

"But?"

"But Jacob seems to be in on it all now and how did he look the last time you saw him up close?"

"Hmm, he didn't look too happy."

"No he didn't." Bella agreed hoping this will finalise the conversation a bit. She hated lying in generally but it just felt so much more dreadful when she was lying to someone as sweet and kind as Seth. Seth had other thoughts though.

"But then he saw you and he started smiling. The last time I saw him properly was when you and Charlie came over for fish fry night. Jake didn't stop long but he didn't seem all that happy. He wouldn't play basketball or do anything I suggested. He just ate and worried about his dad getting cold and then left. The only time he smiled was when he came round later and saw you."

"You noticed that?"

"Of course, he always used to talk about you." Bella's moment of hope dissipated as quickly as it arrived, Seth had an infectious sort of happiness about him. You couldn't be miserable talking to him but sometimes reality just couldn't be budged for long.

"Things are different now."

"Because of Edward?" Edward's name sounded strange coming out of Seth's soft voice. Not wrong or bad or anything, it was just a name, a name with no anterior-motive. Nothing to worry about nothing, to think on, it was just six simple letters E.D.W.A.R.D.

"Edward?"

"That's his name isn't it? Your boyfriend in town."

"Yeah, my Edward."

"What's he like?"

"Edward he...well...he's really very nice."

"He's part of the Cullen family isn't he?"

"Yeah. Edward Cullen."

"Dad's always cranky about the Cullen family. Everyone's always cranky about the Cullen family, but dad and Billy are particularly bad." Seth explained a little matter-of-factly for Bella's liking.

"What do you think about them?"

"I've never met them before." Seth merely shrugged, as if that was enough of an explanation that he just didn't have an opinion of the new Forks doctor and his family. Bella couldn't help but smile. It was a typical Seth answer. He didn't know for sure so he was going to give them the benefit of doubt and wait and see. The only thing Bella could think now was that.

_I really should find a way to hang out with Seth a bit more often._

_Well before he turns into a wolf too! _Another voice in her head answered. Taking a longer look at Seth in his happy little bubble of cookies and she could already see the mystical world impacting on his sweet innocence.

**Thanks for reading. In this chapter I didn't want to let Bella to get too in to telling the Cullen secrets to the 'wolf girl', but at the same time I always wanted to develop the friendship between those two. Emily always comes across as a loving and understanding sort of girl, an equal to Esme's loving nature within the wolf world and so someone that wouldn't hold Edward against Bella too much, not until things really started to get bad for the wolves. The fact that little things like Carlisle's real age would be so insignificant to Bella but un-known to the wolves was just one of those things that I fancied throwing out there for fun. I sometimes think Carlisle's age gap to the other Cullen's must give him a different perspective on human life and obviously Bella would be perceptive enough to pick up on it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authour's note – Not too sure about this chapter yet, but I doubt there would be more than one or two after it.**

Chapter three

Emily having said goodbye to her dear cousin Seth was dealing with the other end of the spectrum in male attitude's. The boys that saw everything Cullen related with a suspicious eyes and recently anything Cullen related included Bella Swan - the vampire girl. As soon as they all ambled into the house sniffing for cookies like blood-hounds the noisy constant chatter began.

"What did she want?"

"Did she just want to chat?"

"Stinks like usual doesn't she."

"Paul! She does not stink!"

"She could have washed for us."

"Oh yeah and when was the last time you washed, dog breath!"

"Hay I'll give you dog breath, bat-boy!"

"What's she doing with Seth?" Sam wondered now he'd finished kissing ever inch of scar on his love's face.

"Charlie's over there for the day and they were board so they just went for a walk and ended up here for a cup of tea."

"And they ate all the cookies!"

"What no cookies?"

"Anything to eat?"

"I'm starving."

"Your always starving."

"Quill stole my breakfast!"

"Jared stole my shorts!"

"Oh come on, like your whole sodding street haven't seen you butt naked by now Paul!"

"Stinky Stacy probably has it on camera already!"

"I do not have a thing with Stinky Stacy!"

"They'll be more later and you can finish off the bread rolls for now."

"That's not what I heard. You and Stinky Stacy getting all hot and steamy down at the beach lockers."

"Piss off."

"Was looking forward to those cookies."

"Yeah."

"All that running Sam makes us do!"

"Quit wining you lot! I worry about you Emily. You don't have to spend every minute of every day feeding them lot."

"You know it's ok Sam. If they aren't here they'll be off annoying some other poor unsuspecting cook. I don't mind them that much."

"Aww you don't mind us?"

"Ah shit what were that?"

"Dude you broke another chair with your big fat hairy ass!"

"I'll give you hairy ass!"

"Paul, don't you dare change in this house!"

"Yeah Paul there aint room for your big fat hairy ass in here!"

"I'll get you later!"

"Did she have anything nice to say about us? She seemed pretty bad tempered the last time I saw her." Sam wondered, he could protect his love from anything in the world but bitchy bad tempered women.

"Yeah growling like a kitten at Jake in the garage."

"Scary little kitten!"

"Yeah but Jake's into cats, she's yelling…"

"…And he was nursing a semi!"

"Aww piss off, I was not!"

"All hot and steamy she was!"

"There was drooling afterwards when she stormed off!"

"I was not!"

"Skinny little ass there, you wouldn't know where you'd being!"

"Piss off Paul!"

"Ahh crap that hold's illegal."

"Five on Paul."

"Your on!"

"I'm fine Sam, Bella's harmless by herself and she's actually done you guys a favour."

"What?"

"She has?"

"Really?"

"Bella's being helping us out!"

"Did the sweet little cupcake make us stew and dumplings again?"

"Aww I love it when she does that. Two big old dishes full!"

"Nah only got the one now, remember Paul broke the red one with his big hairy ass!"

"Dammit Paul."

"I was hungry."

"You were licking her dish out with your fury wolf tongue."

"I do not have a fury tongue!"

"What the hell has he being licking on you to get you to find that one out!"

"Not like that. The bastard licked me head!"

"Have any of you being around Seth lately?"

"Well no, kind of busy, leechs and what not."

"And you know, eating."

"We've being very busy eating."

"We haven't really being doing much school neither!"

"He wants to hang like before but he just doesn't understand I can't. He's being getting awfully cranky when ever I do see him. It's really not like him." Jacob sighed standing aside from his brothers for a moment, anything to get some much wanted Bella-info.

"You've not seen him properly in what, two weeks though have you?" Emily sighed and then looked from Jacob to Sam. Sam could guess where this was going but he really hoped it wasn't.

"Why?"

"Sam he's burning up."

"He's too young."

"He's probably just got flu."

"He's not sick, he's fine, he's burning up and he just scoffed down 10 massive nut cookies in under 20 minutes and he's still sniffing around for more snacks. He's taller too! He towers over Bella now."

"That's not hard, she's a midget!"

"He could just be growing, normal 14 year olds do grow sometimes."

"Aww Em why's you'd feed all the cookies to the little whelp? What about us, we're your favourites?"

"He's 15 now and he's growing fast! Too fast."

"How hot?"

"He's not as hot as you, but he's still feverish when you touch his skin. Too hot for a human and he doesn't notice it. Just wonders around in a t-shirt and forgets to take a jumper like normal."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. That's why Bella wondered over here with him. She noticed and he was grumbling about being stuck at home with no one to talk to and when she asked when he last saw Jake he grumbled about it being so long."

"I know Harry's struggling with him. He keeps grumbling about being lonely since Colin went off to visit his dad. Seth doesn't really have anyone to hang around with at the moment."

"Harry's not noticed because he's too worried about Leah. Sue's not noticed because she's worried about Harry and Leah well…"

"Yeah… Leah."

"Kind of gotta feel sorry for Seth being stuck in the house with that all day!"

"Yeah no wonder he's taken to hitting on Bella."

"Hay that's what Jake does when he's board."

"What so Bella brought him over here so we wouldn't over look him? She brought him here to make sure we knew about his fever when no one else has noticed?" Jacob wondered forgetting about his bread roll only to have it stolen by a quick handed brother. By the time he turned to look however Paul's throat was suspiciously bulging but there was no other sign of the bread roll, not even a crumb.

"She misses you Jake."

"She's got her leech she doesn't want me."

"She still misses you.' Emily moved away and then decided she may as well explain a little. Sam would be interested.

'Beside's the leech is in the dog house anyway at the moment!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well he was grouchy about her making you a birthday cake."

"Yeah and now I don't see her at all because of him. He never lets go of her. She's not aloud out. Charlie doesn't mind me, he likes me, so it's not him keeping her in all the time. It's that god awful, vile stinky…!"

"Easy Jake." Embry quickly jumped on his brothers back and wrapped his arms tight around his shoulders. Jake's trembling stopped and he glared at the floor until Embry dropped down and past him a bread roll to chew.

"She wouldn't stay to see you, she'd rather hang around the house with Seth than talk to you at the moment. You upset her."

"What about the leech, he wouldn't hurt her because of it would he? Well no more that his usual letching and creeping about the place like he does."

"I don't think so, well she doesn't seem to think so."

"Well that's because she's an idiot!"

"What's this plan you were cooking up with her before anyway?"

"Well, I gave her a little bit of advice about how to handle his obsessive jealousy."

"Ditch him and feed him to the wolves?"

"No, she gave him a subtle ultimatum."

"Be nice or I'll ditch you and feed you to the wolves?"

"No! You know Bella well enough to know she's not about to do that."

"You can't fault the sound logic of that kind of a plan though can you?"

"Baggys his left leg if we do."

"No Jared."

"What I called his left leg first!"

"What's so great about his left one? They both stink. Surely the right one is just as good."

"Arms are too flimsy and I never really liked attacking straight on from the left for some reason. I prefer the right side so that would be his left leg so I can get a nice clean rip and make sure I don't miss any entrails, get it."

"No, I don't."

"Paul's forgot his left and right again."

"What again!"

"Piss off."

"Well what then?"

"Well he made such a fuss about your birthday cake that she made him one too."

"The Cullen's don't eat cake, they just kill animals and go all sucking-leech and disgusting-like on the corpses?"

"Yes well she made him a cake, left it as a little romantic gift for when he got back from hunting. That's why she's with Seth today. They're out hunting and she's safer down here when they go."

"Oh lovely, a little romantic gift for the leech, just what I want to hear about." The other boys all grumbled and found spots to sit down around the downstairs. Quill however suddenly wondered.

"Emily, sweet cook that feeds us all?"

"There's nothing more coming until the bell rings."

"I know, but, well I was just wondering."

"What?"

"Human food tastes like dirt to leechs doesn't it?"

"So we're told by Bella."

"That were a big cake Jake got too, greedy pig wouldn't share it but he dam near puked afterwards."

"I got a piece."

"Hardly."

"Emily?"

"What Quill?"

"Did you manipulate Bella into manipulating Edward leech into being forced to eat the vampire equivalent of a massive bucket of dirt, just to prove he's not some obsessive, jealous vampire jerk all because he got cranky at Bella making Jacob a birthday cake… for his birthday?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Quill? Like I would ever manipulate anyone.' Emily insisted and then picked up her laundry.

'Now someone needs to help me with this and someone else can go chop some more wood for the fire."

"I'll do the wood!" Four boys shouted and fought against each other to get out the house first. Sam however merely lifted the laundry basket from Emily's hands and pulled her closer towards his warm body.

"My sneaky muffin maker."

"Well, if he does love her, he should prove it."

"You little minx!"

"Hmm. We women have our ways. The boys are gone why don't you come and help me with the sheets in the bedroom?"

"Hmm sounds like fun." Dropping the basket Sam shoulder lifted his mate and chuckled as she shrieked and giggled as he carried her into the back bedroom.

20 minutes later when Sam wondered back out to the kitchen, the pack finially decided it was safe to re-enter the house, a sizeable house height amount of wood chopped down into Emily sized chunks and hungry expressions on all the faces. Sam by far the calmest of the group set them to work cleaning up the kitchen to earn there evening meal. The house was still and calm until the magic bell wrang, five hungry wolves stared salivating and quickly dashed to the dinner table to wait as patiently as hungry wolves could for dinner to come out the oven.

Emily merely chuckled to herself. It was time to feed her boys again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authour's note – I'm pretty sure this will be the last chapter unless someone really begs. I've run out of ideas and I think it's come to its natural bunny biting conclusion. *Ouch***

Chapter four

Sitting in Sue's kitchen with Seth Bella was enjoying a nice Sunday ice-cream Seth had managed to cobble together from the depths of the Clearwater family freezer. Complete with whipped cream, vanilla, strawberry and chocolate layers of ice cream, surprisingly it wasn't the cold feel of the metal spoon against her tongue that made Bella think of her vampire love. She missed him, although determined to prove herself as more than just a clumsy blush prone girlfriend that needs rescuing all the time. Dislike of rescuing aside Bella was currently stuck at the Clearwater house with the happy Seth because her truck had gone the way of the dodo and no matter what Charlie did it just would not start. It wasn't Bella's pride stopping her from asking her 'mechanical type friend' for help it was his pride that wouldn't allow him within eyesight of her any more. Wondering about her truck and boyfriend troubles Bella sighed and absently sucked on her spoon.

"I'm not bothering you am I?"

"No Seth, of course not. I like spending time with you. We don't get to see each other that often do we."

"No, well your busy aren't you."

"It's just life Seth, work school…"

"Boyfriends."

"I'm sure as soon as you find a nice girl to go out with she'll be the centre of your world too."

"I hope not. Girls are just yuk!" Bella merely smiled knowingly, Seth's pink cheeks suggested he had 'discovered' girls now like his older cousin Jacob. He just wasn't so bold as to ask one out on a date yet. If those big brown eyes and rosy soft cheeks were anything to go by Seth could have the pick of girls with his cuteness.

"So then Bells, Seth, are you pair keeping out of trouble."

"Of course Dad. I mean really how much trouble could _even_ I possibly get into sitting around the house with Seth." Charlie took a quick police Chief's survey around the immediate area and just like Bella's over-protective boyfriend he could think of numerous possibly situations for Bella to get herself into trouble with.

"Well you are sat in the kitchen."

"Oh sod off I'm not that bad." Charlie merely pursed his lips and rolled his eyes. Rubbing her shoulder softly Seth quickly added.

"Don't worry Bella, I'll protect you." Bella couldn't read Charlie's expression but Seth was smiling as usual so she ignored it.

"Urm Dad, you know my truck."

"We might be able to get it going again. A proper mechanic should be able to tell what's wrong. Don't worry Bella."

"I know but well... I wanted to go over to the Cullen's this afternoon."

"I don't know, why don't you spend some time with your other friends for a change."

"I've spent all day with Seth."

"Hmm. I just think you spend a bit too much time with _him_ that's all."

"Please dad."

"I don't know it's a long way out from town their place."

"You've never even being there."

"And I've gotta work later Bells, I wouldn't want you getting stranded."

"Alice will give me a lift home. She already said she would."

"When?"

"We're friends, that's what friends do. It's just cheeky to ask her to come pick me up from here as well." Bella hoped the comments about 'Cullen's are not welcome here' would go amiss but then she remembered this was Seth she was with and couldn't help but let out a relaxed sigh.

"Fine, fine I could give you a lift so you can go and see Alice."

"Thanks dad."

"But Im not bothered about talking to them."

"Edward."

"I'm not leaving you in that house with just him and the sister."

"Don't be silly dad. Wouldn't you like to talk Esme? She'll be there I'm sure."

"Hmm well it would be good to check that she really does keep an eye on everything in her home like you say she does."

"She really does."

"So it's ok for me to go over then?"

"Yes I'll drive you."

"Thanks Dad."

Charlie had never being out to house itself, he'd made it to the driveway only to find a fallen tree from the storm that first month the Cullen's were out. He'd first met Esme at the driveway after meeting Carlisle at the hospital and watched the two older son's set about very expertly, strapping the log to the back of a truck and driving it safely out the way. Esme assured Charlie they were fine and that they were looking forward to some of the hike's in the local area.

Charlie had therefore never actually seen the house itself. Enjoying the steady driving of her father (who obviously remained below the speed limit) Bella watched the tree's roll past. Since moving to Forks she'd learnt (with a little help from spider monkying with Edward) to enjoy the beauty of the green forests surrounding the little town. Suddenly though the thought occurred that she should probably ware her love of her arrival.

Well perhaps not Edward directly.

Quickly Bella pulled out her phone, a gift from Edward, and sent a text to Alice saying she was on her way over. Alice soon replied with usual.

'I already know that and I have such a charming shirt for you to try on. P.s don't make faces Bella!'

Bella made a face anyway and then quickly pointed out where the driveway started to her father.

"Glad you know where you're going, I don't think I'd of found this otherwise." After ten minutes of steady driving Charlie was looking around every tree curiously before he asked.

"Are you sure this is the right turning?" Bella merely rolled her eyes, forgetting just how she used to feel coming up this drive until a few minutes later they turned the last bend and suddenly the house sprung out between the green just as Esme planned it all those years ago.

"Wow, Dr. Cullen does do well for himself."

"It's Esme's house. Carlisle just paid for it."

"Huh."

"You'll see." Bella got out quickly as Charlie pulled up in front of the triple door garage set at one side of the house and clearly feeling a little uncomfortable he stepped out the car as well. Charlie steadied his stupid nerves and reminded himself that he'd come here, so he wasn't about to just drop her off and run.

Heading towards the front door Bella intendied to press the bell like any normal person but as this was the vampire house people and normal where never words used at the same time. As if waiting for her on the other side before Bella could reach up out stepped Alice and Carlisle.

The surprise made her falter and stumble backwards and Charlie quickly had to steady his daughter with a sigh. She was The Most clumsiest thing in the entire world but she was his clumsy daughter after all. Carlisle merely smiled while Alice bounced over saying hello and picking at Bella's frumpy jumper with two disgruntled fingers.

"Honestly Bella. I can never seem to keep on top of you." Carlisle however held his perfectly manicured (it looked it to Charlie at least) hand in greeting.

"Afternoon Chief."

"Afternoon Doctor." As always Carlisle's smile was perfectly formed where as Charlie's bristly moustache that always tickled Bella when she received raspberry kisses as a girl. Looking between the two true men in her life the differences were striking at yet both only had kind words for the other.

Alice however suddenly rolled her eyes as the next thing they heard was loud snickering from Emmett, followed by loud retching noises from someone else standing around the side of the house. This continued for several moments as the four listened in before something started splashing.

"Get off me Emmett!"

"Is that Edward?" Charlie wondered as there was now a lot more splashing and giggling from Emmett making Charlie look expectantly at Carlisle's yet to faulter smile.

"Edward ate too much and now he's not feeling very well." Alice explained and smirked as Carlisle rolled his eyes. The next thing that they heard was Edward retching again coupled with Esme yelling.

"Not in the flower bed Edward! When I said I wouldn't have you throwing up in the house, I didn't mean you can go outside and poison my beautiful roses!"

"Aww be easy on him, he can't help feeling a little sickly! Look at him, he's all pasty looking and pale." There was a gargled grumble from Edward followed by more retching.

"No I will not go easy on him, if he's stupid enough to eat his own body weight in cake he can bloody well purge it out and away of my nice clean house!"

"Told you it was Emse's house." Bella nodded as Charlie understood this more clearly now. There was a lot more splashing of water and the sounds of rocks being thrown into a bag of some sort when suddenly Esme was stepping out around the house calling back over her shoulder.

"And you can sweep that into the drain when you're finally done!"

"Yes mother!" Emmett called back just as Esme moved to welcome Charlie properly.

"Hello Charlie."

"Mrs Cullen." Esme was now steady at Carlisle's side, looking the ppicture motherly perfection she always did, Charlie however was going a little pink in his neck but after a steady look at Bella he seemed to look at bit better and less embarrassed. Clearly any inappropriate thoughts about Edward's mother had suitably subsided and all Bella could think was how embarrassing if Edward (which he probably did) heard Charlie's internal male musings. Switching his brain to disgruntled father Charlie quickly came up with half a plan.

"You sure you want to stay here if Edward's so sick?"

"Sod Edward, Bella's here to see me. Don't worry Charlie I'll drive her back after dinner. Come on Bella, shirt time."

"Aww not again." Bella grumbled, but as Alice took her hand she obediently followed her into the house any further remarks and suggestions from Charlie were so completely dismissed by the little dominating pixi that Charlie quiet forgot to think them.

"Alice sure has a way about her."

"We encourage it in her." Carlisle offered well used to making little comments to distract attention from his family's odd behavior.

"You do?"

"Oh yes, anything to keep her out of my closets!" Carlisle added firmly. Holding his mate's hand he gave her a little squeeze of encouragement that helped Esme rally her strength against her burning thirst and play hostess. She'd being angling for some parent-in-law time with Charlie since the first day she met Bella.

"Would you like a drink Charlie?"

"Well I was just going to drop Bella off but." Charlie started but then saw the slight disappointment in Esme and suddenly felt dreadful. For a few moments Charlie was sure he would do anything, anything at all for this beautiful women and never in a million years would he dream of doing anything to upset her.

Edward suddenly felt the need to wretch and gargle a bit more loudly which was as usual followed by the exuberant splashing of water from Emmett.

"Please, we never really get to see you."

"Maybe just a quick one then."

"Wonderful." Esme set the pace quickly into the house as Carlisle offered for his guest to follow his wife. Charlie was a little nervous all of a sudden, he couldn't explain the strange feeling of dread in his stomach as he stepped over the threashold. It sent cold shivers down his spine but soon enough the feeling was gone and he was being offered a seat on a very stylish and perfectly fluffed up sofa. Taking a moment to worry about his slightly dirty jeans Charlie sat down quickly worried he might make the place look untidy. He barely had chance to look around when Esme was setting herself down with a delicate tea tray on the ornately carved wooden coffee table.

"You know I had no idea you lived quiet this far out."

"We like the peace and quiet out here Charlie. It keeps us away from all town noise." Esme explained as just then there was a loud banging musical base line erupting from somewhere outside. Esme's soft hostess tones changed in an instant to the formidable mother she could truly be.

"EMMETT!" Esme bellowed and suddenly the music switched off and her face was a delicate smile again. Emmett stuck his head in from the outside kitchen door looking confused. For a moment Charlie was sure her eyes suddenly looked darker but then it was gone, Esme wasn't looking directly at him so he assumed it was just a trick of the light. Carlisle's hand was firmly on her knee now squeezing tightly, Esme knew he was trying to help her control that horrible urge she was suffering with but Charlie merely thought he was the usual randy young husband.

Hell he sure would be!

"What, Edward's retching again? He's noisy!" Emmett's face was just hanging there in the doorway

"Well then give him a bucket!" Carlisle sighed.

"It's not me that fed him all that Cake. Jasper's the one to force the last slice in him."

"That's only because you were too busy laughing to do it yourself, now go back out there and finish cleaning up." Esme insisted throwing all her aggression at her son in the hopes of calming down towards her guest. Charlie had that funny feeling of dread again from when he stepped in the house but soon enough it was gone.

Emmett picked up a bucket from the kitchen cupboard and started out the house again nearly singing his news to Edward before suddenly yelling.

"Edward, got you a bucket… Dammit! Not on my shoes!" Again there was more splashing water and giggling and Charlie was looking at the Cullen parents expectantly.

"Is this normal for them?"

"You know what boys are like, sometimes I'm just not quick enough to stop them from getting too carried away."

"All three of them?"

"No, Jasper's got a much better sense of self preservation to hide before I can catch him. I think he's skulking somewhere around the attic with a book until Emmett's finished cleaning up."

"Edward will be ok?"

"He'll be fine." Carlisle assured him but something in Charlie's expression made everyone think he wasn't so glad about this.

Sure enough by the time Charlie had finished the cup of tea and nibbled some of Esme's biscuits the splashing water had finally ceased and Edward was walking casually in through the kitchen, his front was completely wet from Emmett's helpfulness along with most of his hair. He was dripping in places from his fringe but attempting the perfect self-assured smile Carlisle was wearing.

Emmett meanwhile was bare foot and grinning like a baboon as lumbered in quiet deliberately following his brother through the house. As a vampire Emmett was perfectly capable of being a gracious and delicate creature, (within reason) but slumping around after Edward trying to look proper sure had its comic value.

"Good afternoon Charlie." Edward started, trying to look like a boy that was pulling himself together, as soon as he realized Charlie was there he wanted to make like a good prospective son-in-law but the flood gates had already opened and the cake had to come out somehow. For a vampire that meant one thing and one thing only. The gates open and only close once everything has being evacuated.

Charlie didn't have a very high opinion of him at the best of times and he really didn't now. As he thought of various ways to turn this latest incident of Edward's around to keep him away from Bella and her closer to Jacob Edward knew he had to do some work on Charlie while at the same time, was glad Charlie got to break down some of his odd ideas about the Cullen family. They were putting quiet the show on today. Edward may not have come across very well but Emmett and his parents sure had.

Edward despised his playful grinning baboon of a grizzly brother right now.

"Edward."

"Dude you stink." Emmett laughed picking at his brothers shirt sleeve and sniffing with an over-the-top disgusted expression. Charlie was smirking too. He seemed to think Edward getting picked on by his big brother had some comic value too!

"Edward dear, why don't you go up and have a shower." Esme however felt bad for her baby boy. He may be annoying at times but Edward was her baby and she couldn't stand to see him suffer. Edward took a surveying sniff of himself and decided even Charlie would notice or assume he notices Edward's stench.

He, after all, didn't smell of sweaty vomit, but mouldy food. Edward really wanted to put a good impression in with Charlie, but that wasn't happening any time soon so he merely nodded and disappeared upstairs. Emmett was still hanging around and Esme knew what he wanted.

"So you gonna check?" He finally asked after waiting impatiently for several moments. After a bit of a dramatic sigh Esme got up and followed him outside to inspect his cleaning up.

"Fine, your done." Emmett near enough jumped for joy and bounced over towards the bottom of the stairs. Leaning on the banister he called up to his love.

"Rosie we can go out now."

"Finally. What's taken you so long?" Rosalie grumbled as she oh-so-gracefully came down the stairs in a tight black skirt, black heels and a fitted red blouse. Everything about her outfit showed everything off, to the full extent, while not being overly revealing (or as Emmett missed, see-through) it was however, a skin tight skirt that left very little to the imagination when it came to Rosalie's perfect figure. Emmett was pulling on a pair of clean shoes and rushing to open the door for Rosalie when she arrived at him. Everything about Emmett's behavior suggested he knew exactly what a babe Rosalie was and every intention of making the most of it while he could.

"We'll be home by ten." Emmett called out to his mother as he held open the door for his love and offered his arm gently. Size of a grizzly bare and the mind of a lusty wann-be porn star but no one could ever fault Emmett's manners with his lady.

"Fine, have a nice time sweetie." Charlie caught himself looking for a moment too long and it certainly wasn't at Emmett's cute dimples. He quickly looked somewhere else to cover his pink cheeks but had the horrible feeling his daughter would have being embarrassed had she seen him. Carlisle merely smiled but then changed his casual annoyingly perfect expression when he saw Charlie's expression shift.

"Doesn't that bother you, those two, that is?"

"No, of course not. I'd rather Emmett than some stranger off the street. We keep a close eye on them and they genuinely make each other very happy. Trust me on this, Rosalie unhappy is not a pretty thing to live with." Charlie couldn't understand how Rosalie could ever not look pretty but then Harry thought his daughter was as beautiful as he thought Bella was, and yet she was very difficult to live with at times, well most of the time if Harry was being easy. Edward aside Billy was adamant Charlie got it easier with his girl.

"You don't find it causes problems?"

"No, not especially. We have problems, but not normally caused by their relationship." Esme explained as near instantly Jasper appeared in the room. It wasn't that he was slipping around at Vampire speed, Jasper was very conscious of the law, far more than the others in general. He may struggle with his thirst but out of all of the family he was the most uncomfortable with Carlisle's excessive leniency regarding Edward and Bella. It was merely that Charlie was just too distracted by Esme to notice him suddenly drawling out in the room.

"Not wit' Edward 'round all 'tha time."

Taking a moment to look at the third son Charlie decided he seemed very stiff, he was stiff, Jasper was always stiff when human's were around, but like Esme he wanted to try and master his thirst and Charlie sitting in the living room was a good opportunity to practice his self control. The family had only just finished hunting that morning so he thought he should at least try and make the effort. That didn't mean he was willing to get caught up in the 'boys' punishment for feeding Edward so much cake for anything.

Carlisle gave him a jolt of encouragement through Jasper's gift while Esme, as always, beamed pride when she was trying to encourage him, but couldn't help a little reproach. Edward after all, was the favoured baby-son of the Cullen's.

"That's not fair."

"Hmph. He's a pain!"

"Are the girls ok?" Carlisle wondered attempting to shift the conversation. Jasper at first only nodded and then decided he had to practice speaking.

"Yes… Edward's having a lie down in his room. I think he's sulking. Alice locked the door on him." Jasper didn't say anything else after that and in his usual stiff manners, he turned sharply and left through the back door quietly.

Charlie obviously didn't know what to make of Jasper, he was so different from his overly relaxed brother Emmett, that to anyone outside of the family he seemed almost alien. Charlie however after some thought asked.

"Jasper was older than the others before joining your family wasn't he?" It was more of a statement than a question and made Esme wonder, it was no secret the adopted family situation, or the usual line to how they fit together as a family, Esme just wondered at the prospective in-law's choice of words.

"Yes. He was."

"He seems to respect you both."

"We care about him a lot. He's a sweet boy really."

"Yes, but he wouldn't hide after being naughty otherwise now would he. Jacob's the same. He's always being like that."

"Jacob Black?" Carlisle couldn't help it, his curiosity was always pricked when the wolves were concerned. He hoped it wouldn't take too many more generations for a pack to trust him enough to hold a far more relaxed social conversation.

"My godson. Well the Quileute version anyway. Caught him playing some daft all you can eat game with his cousin's recently.' Charlie thought absently for a moment before continuing. Clearly he had no idea about the full extent of the strained relationship between Carlisle and Jacob's great-grandfather.

'Although that boy sure never did like parting with his food for anything. Boys will do daft things though, your quiet right." Carlisle and Esme merely continued to smile at this and quickly changed the subject. They may have no hard feelings towards the wolves in general but something were just too delicate to talk about. Carlisle himself enjoyed their company, they were something new and exciting, something for him to learn about. A near un-known speices that shared his ideas regarding resepect for human life.

Esme's only bug-bare regarding wolves centered around the difficult relationship between Bella, Edward and Jacob but she rather put that down to male ego and how Bella was such a lovely girl it's not surprising she received attentions from the son of a family friend she half grew up with.

After some small talk where Charlie attempted to wheedle information about Edward's 'ideas over Bella' while Esme and Carlisle mostly tried not to laugh. Charlie was feeling more sure about Esme keeping tabs on the young couple but still believed Edward was a sneaky randy teen that would find a way around any rules and in to his daughters knickers at all costs.

Shortly after Esme and Carlisle walked him out to the cruiser and Edward was sat waiting in his room for Alice decided to let Bella free again. Hair, make-up and a change of top later Bella was stumbling into Edward's open arms.

Sitting down beside her love Bella took a long hard look Edward and said.

"So, are we going to have any more moaning about Jacob's birthday cake even though he's not talking to me any more?" Bella asked without looking at him, Edward merely sighed and pouted a little looking the picture of adorableness before saying.

"No."

"Good.' As quickly as she could manage without making a complete clumsy tit of herself Bella moved to sit closer to Edward and held his hand to stroke it gently.

'Now what would you like to do this afternoon then?"

"I still don't feel right, can we cuddle up here on the couch for a while." Bella wasn't a complete idiot she was sure she was being played a little for the sympathy vote, but it wasn't as if Edward got to 'play' at being sick without causing Bella to completely freak out.

"Oh all right. But you can't pull the sickie card on me for too long. Alice already told me about it."

"Dammit Alice!'

'Wait I mean, but I do feel terribly unwell. I'm sure just laying here with you though will always make me feel so much better." Bella being the love-sick human she was couldn't help but look into Edward's eyes and melt. She didn't even notice the smirk as she completely fell for Edward's play.

Alice on the other hand was about ready to hurl herself at the doorway.

"Your so soft Bella. You know he doesn't deserve it." Edward looked up from Bella's lap where she'd started stroking his soft hair with a look of adoration across her face. Edward with a look that insisted he really did deserve to be petted for a while. Just not like one would pet a lap dog.

Edward did have his pride after all. Supposedly!

**Well that'll be the end of this then. It was only supposed to be a little one shot. I've got no intention of taking it further. I do hope you enjoyed it, but it's only a little bit of fluffy fun. Review if you want or just carry on reading something else. I sure do. If you've bothered to read to the end and not give up on me after one chapter then that's praise enough for me.**

**Happy reading and I'll be happy writing.**


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